turn me off

You can use these in blog posts, presentations, etc, but I will seize up and stop accepting your premise at that point.

• I conducted a survey of my Facebook (twitter, etc) friends…
  Huge peeve of mine, but there are proper ways to do research. Asking a closed network of people who are similar to you provides answers that are remarkably similar to your worldview. Sad thing is that I’m seeing this pop up in white papers and other published works as bonafide research.
• ___, according to Webster, is a ____…
  I despise this one. I’m devoting my attention and time to you for new insight and you’re reading the dictionary to me? It’s something that middle school students stick in a paper to fill space. Stop it.
• According to Wikipedia…
  Here’s where I’m a semi-hypocrite. I actually link to Wikipedia alot in this blog, just to give readers some context for obscure Dennis Miller type references I sometimes use in posts. It’s good for that…a quick thumbnail overview. But you should never back an argument with it. It’s rampant with errors.
• Reading Powerpoint slides
  No explanation needed. It should be mandatory that you read and pass a test on the book Presentation Zen before being allowed to use Powerpoint or Keynote
• Being off color
  Personally, I don’t care for it in any context. If you want to use it in your personal life, go for it. But there’s never a reason for it in a professional setting.
• Being mean
  No reason for it. Constructive criticism is wonderful, but anyone can pick away at ideas or people. It’s much more difficult to provide answers and new ideas.

These are just a random few off the top of my head. What phrases like these lock your reception up?