ad and marketing phrases that I hate

Don’t make me hate you. Don’t use these.

new state of the art website
As opposed to our old website which was run by steam and coal.

got (insert product here)?
We got milk and that was enough. Thanks.

free gift
Ever paid anyone for a gift that you received?

“sports minded business / salespeople”
Respond to a classified employment ad with these words and you’ll either find an idiot sales manager or a pyramid scheme. Or both.

anything that’s “crazy”
Why do car dealers, furniture stores, etc feel it’s a sales boost if their customers think they suffer from mental illness?

these prices are too low to advertise
Original use of this phrase is based in early 20th century antitrust law which also launched the concept of MSRP. But the law only applies to the manufacturer/retailer relationship. 99% of the time you hear it today in ads, it’s baloney.

any phrase in a “conversation” spot
Jim, have you thought of having those hemorrhoids looked at?

cyberspace
1997 called and they want their ____ back.

anything that comes out of the mouth of Sprint CEO Dan Hesse
Isn’t it amazing that these devices can tell everyone how much you hate shaky camera work?

we have to reduce our inventory
The whole point of being in business is to reduce inventory.

I’m sure there are more that annoy me, but these were the ones off the top of my head. What about you? Leave your suggestions in the comments.

Chris Houchens is a marketing raconteur & writer. Connect with him on Twitter or Facebook.

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4 comments on “ad and marketing phrases that I hate
  1. Anonymous says:

    state offer “that’s right!” restate offer

  2. GoingLikeSixty.com says:

    “Hurry in, these won’t last long”

    “or best offer” – as opposed to taking the worst offer?

    “people are our most important asset”

    “10% off”

  3. Richard says:

    cute babies. pets

  4. Chris Houchens says:

    Excellent suggestions everyone — I had forgotten one until I heard it the other day. Advertising that references “the big game” instead of the Super Bowl because of NFL legal issues